Friday was my last full day of working for IBM. I wore a company shirt, why not, last chance to wear it as an employee. I actually delivered some work that I had gotten approval for -- I don't have any idea what the Change Control Board was thinking of, but perhaps the majority wasn't aware that I was on my way out. That's the IBM way. Lay off people as quietly as possible, in the name of "employee privacy," but it turns out to be a divide and conquer strategy. Morale won't go down if you don't know when your co-workers are let go.

So I actually did some work, right up to my last day. I didn't have to, most people who are laid off don't, but, well, it's something to do between networking and I have a certain pride in saying that I worked, right up to the end. The condemned man keeping his dignity.

And I packed up my office. I hated that part, to pick up thirteen years of memory and put them in boxes. And I hated the between-ness, not quite unemployed and not quite an employee, just not anywhere.

I joined Atria when they were located in Natick. I worked in Natick one week; I remember a great sense of confusion as I tried to go through the ClearCase tutorials. No one was available to help and I began to understand the difference between a casual user of ClearCase and an administrator. Then Atria moved to Lexington, and after a year or so, I moved from the west side of the building to a south-facing double office. And by some miracle I never moved since.

So I have deep metaphorical roots in this office. A couple of years ago they replaced the carpeting, so there aren't stains that I can point at, but the roots are there, just the same. It was almost disappointing to find that my office packed up so easily. J had come by earlier in the week and boxed my books, and it just took an afternoon and two car trips -- the second one to get my floor lamp -- to get everything home. I almost feel cheated at the speed of it. Should it take longer to pull up these roots?

Atria hired a great bunch of people -- I'll miss the decade-long relationships. Sure, we all say we'll keep in touch, but it is different than walking down the hallway and nodding to everyone I pass. I feel very sad.

Somehow I don't -- not at the moment -- blame IBM for being ruthless and heartless. Business is business. I see that they have a right to cut costs as they see fit. And the stock price shows that the market agrees with them.

But it does feel like there is something, not just amoral, but immoral about breaking up our community, straining all of these long-term relationships. And it seems immoral to take a job away from a person who is meeting all the requirements of their job (at least). Isn't there another solution than to fire competant workers?

It feels like the company has broken a compact -- I provide servies and they provide money and benefits. But it does go both ways, I'd certainly defend my right to change employers at any time, otherwise it would be slavery. Still, it seemed that for my father, there was a different relationship between an employee and an employer, at least for the executives and professionals. My father took care of his company, and the company took care of him.

After 14 years, I have to pack up and take care of myself.